What if?

A certain act when forced without consent is called RAPE
Not just that but any such forced act is ideally a RAPE
The aftereffects are not just physical or emotional
It’s a behavioral flaw that’s infecting generations and is promotional

 

Who decided that one gender is superior to another?

How can you rank the contribution of a father or a mother?
Why beg for mercy from one sect of the society
That is irrational and acts out of anxiety

Think about corruption or the existing system

Isn’t that a violation or a rape of our belief system?
A brutal and blatant display of power
A false sense of being the control tower

What if we prevent them from their illusion?

What if we join them in creating a bigger delusion?
What if we give them the canvas but create our motif?
Think about it. What if?

The root cause is helplessness and resistance

The same act is not a rape if done in acceptance
Maybe an answer lurks behind the dark corners
Maybe, just maybe, it’s time we stop being lame mourners

Believe in Thyself

O creature of blood and flesh

With a heart to purify and keep it fresh

Stacked up with a pack of bones

Strong enough to lift and sculpt stones

O holder of an effective yet simple digestive system

Why do thou fall prey and love being called a victim?

Thou art the creator of life and thou art the destroyer too

Is it then a convenient blame game on you know “who”?

What role does a religion have in today’s world?

Where bombs and bullets are being hurled

Every holy book interestingly preaches peace

Is that but a fleece?

O Possessor of an extraordinary intellectual mesh

Creator and re-creator of situations afresh

How can thou claim victory in any war?

By drawing lines and amidst cries of abhor

When thou can’t control a slimy tongue or your own emotions

How can thou claim control on nations and such deceived notions?

Thou can digest junk, thou can digest deceit

Thou can digest the entire generation being uncouth

Thou can control and achieve every feat

Only when thou shalt digest the simple yet long prevailing truth

O creature of blood and flesh

When there’s still some time, please refresh!

The Whole “Model” Theory

A casual weekend coffee conversation with my wife reminded me of a very interesting tête-à-tête I’d come across during my train travel days in Mumbai. The actors were two young boys, hardly out of college. One of them was bragging about his corporate knowledge through all the corrupt practices and how he can read through certain decisions made by the then famous conglomerates.

The other friend, obviously bewildered asked him out of curiosity, “How do you know all this?”

The friend blurted in an “as a matter of fact” tone, “My father’s a judge in corporate law”.

To this, the other guy retorted by saying, “So is my boss. He judges everyone in an instant”.

This exchange, I’d heard almost a decade ago, stands true even today. Not just our bosses, almost everyone, including us have become a “Judge” in our own way. We pass our judgments at every possible occasion. Right from the decisions taken by a cricket captain, to the policies (whatever meager) that are being doled out of the parliament; From the severity of a punishment to a random driver overtaking us on a busy road.

The point is we’re judged as much as we judge. There are many behavior patterns associated with this seemingly normal practice. It starts to hurt when these precarious judgments finds it's way in our decisions.

Data point collection is one thing. Profiling is another. But mixing this with our value system to form an opinion is where it gets dangerous. I’m saying this because to each, his value system is what is CORRECT. Obviously, that’s why one follows it.

This disturbing act has firmly found its footing in our sub-conscious mind. And when we act, there is some part of our brains, trying to process this exact thing from other people’s perspective. The people whom we “think” we know. The objective is to ensure our act is appreciated and that somehow we become a role model. I know of many people who live a strenuous life battling this behavior.

Let’s take GOD as our example. Here, I mean the God of Cricket, Sachin Tendulkar. When he first played against Pakistan at the age of sixteen, he was not carrying a burden. He was out there to do what he enjoyed the most. The more he scored, the more the pressure built. And what is this pressure? It’s the pressure of being a role model, not just in cricket but in all aspects of life. Every little detail of his (for that matter any public figure’s) life gets discussed and judgments are passed on. We may well remember these conversations ourselves, e.g., his marriage to a lady elder to him, his choice of endorsements; his supposed hunger for creating records and finally to his retirement. He was no more enjoying playing cricket but was under severe pressure of being judged by everyone around. We all go through this, albeit with a lower intensity.

Ever wondered why superheroes have an alter ego?

Roelant Oltmans, the interim coach for the Indian Hockey team told his team, “If you feel the pressure, give it to me. I will take it. You just play hockey”. I guess he re-iterated something so basic, that mankind has forgotten. We all need to simply give our pressures to our respective faith (God, Allah, Bhagwaan or ourselves) and focus on ENJOYING LIFE.

I’ve begun this journey. Without judging me, will you join me?

Don't get carried away. Think - Simple Solutions!

Good morning, you’ve lost 130 strands of hair yesterday. You’ve eaten 1200 calories more than you can digest; forget about your weight-loss targets. Your attempt at singing at a party last night was the most embarrassing thing you could’ve attempted. You spent ₹750 more on an item you purchased yesterday. You could’ve bought it cheaper at X Y Z stores.
Flip
Someone in your neighbourhood was robbed of his life savings.
Flip Flip Flip
Your savings bank account is yielding lesser interest than what your father earned through fixed deposits. You could buy two movie tickets, two popcorns and two colas for ₹500 until last week. Today, you can buy only one each. Forget about a date. Enjoy movies alone.

Imagine being told such things about you and your personal life every morning. How would you feel? What would you do about it after being hammered like this day after day?

But that’s what we all see / read about our city and nation every morning in the news (paper or channel).
It is a proven scientific experiment that if you talk positively to a plant, it accelerates the plant’s growth and produce. Similarly, the plants die if you talk negatively to them.
We are humans. How can we handle so much cynicism being injected into our lives? Awareness is one thing but tabling issues without solutions is dishing out a half-baked pie. It is injurious to health.

In my corporate experience, whenever we setup a process, the first thing we worry about is reviewing and reporting to ensure success and getting back to track if at all we get lost mid-way. There are dashboards created for senior management levels to ensure all departments are working the way they are expected to and that all resources are optimally utilized. Managers have their reports to ensure process efficiency is maintained.

There lies an answer, a simple solution to all this reported mayhem.  The newspapers / news channels, instead of only reporting such depressing events, should focus on reviewing and reporting for the voters. The first page should present the daily dashboards vis-á-vis the targets that were set out. This could be done for all important portfolios including administrative, finance and local police.

e.g., what were the Top 5 promises during elections? What was the given deadline & budget? What is the status and at what cost? Once, the Top 5 are brought to a proper conclusion, move to the next 5 and so on...

Instead of telling the public, in the form of articles, let this be hammered as a dashboard with a rating mechanism on the “Public Servants”. These dashboards should be made mandatory in all newspapers, national and local; English and Vernacular. This is bound to put pressure on them to perform instead of putting pressure on the public to keep questioning them through different acts etc.

Today, there is no measuring mechanism. Each political party simply brags without validation.

We as a nation, I believe, waste a lot of time in writing rules and laws without knowing how to implement them. When we know historically, none of the laws are as effective as they are meant to be.

Yet again, the solutions are simple. Because of too much detailing, most of the times, we miss the goal.

In his campaign, President Obama said “Yes We CAN”

For us Indians, the slogan I can think of is “There’s nothing we CAN’T”!

Air, Blood & Friends

As a child, apart from our parents, we learn a lot from FRIENDS
The cushion, between doting parents and demanding relatives, is FRIENDS

All our “coming of age” discussions is with FRIENDS
When we have our first crush, we have to share it with FRIENDS

When we “THINK”, we’re in love, to get a smack on our head, we need FRIENDS
Despite the smack, during our first HEARTBREAK, the shoulders belong to FRIENDS

For petty loans, the first call goes to our FRIENDS
Suggestions for complex situations come from our FRIENDS

To enrich our thoughts, to make us smile and to irritate us, we need FRIENDS
Friends need us too, like we need, albeit a few good FRIENDS

So, FRIENDSHIP DAY or otherwise, while we think of all our FRIENDS
Let’s also take a moment to reflect – who we’ve been GOOD FRIENDS to.

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!

Happy Independence

At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom. – said Jawaharlal Nehru, our then Prime Minister. Little did he realize that these words would be prophetic in a way.

66 years down, when the world sleeps, India is still awake to life but not to freedom, but for working away in the night shift for some other country, some other economy. Getting trained to ensure they get the best “Service” grossly neglecting the needs of our own country, our own brethren. And mind you, this is now also hurting their economy, badly.

We will soon be celebrating (or at least pretend to celebrate) our 67^th Independence Day.  So let’s delve in understanding the true meaning of independence. Not at a political level, but in our day-to-day lives.

In the morning, we’re dependent on the alarm clock to wake us up.

We’re depending on the electricity to heat the water for a nice shower.
We depend on the water board to ensure we have water in our taps.
You’re getting the gist. These days, we’re blissfully dependent on Facebook to remind us of our “Friends’” birthdays.

Ok jokes apart, as a system, we’ve ensured we all stay dependent on each other; Family, society, community, etc. The fear of failure and the fact that we might need someone else’s help at sometime, makes us a slave to “their” expectations.

There are answers in other cultures, not in totality but if we get the essence, maybe. Let’s look at one such observation. 

In the western culture, parents ensure the kids are independent and that they fend for themselves once they turn 18 (16 in some countries). Parenting and education system will need to undergo a paradigm shift. We don't need to blindly ape it but tweak it in a meaningful way and adapt.
By the way, this is what nature’s taught us and keeps teaching. However, if any parent were to do that here, they would be brandished irresponsible and selfish. Apologize if I’m being judgemental here. After all, I’m a part of this system.

We feed dependence and the thought of freedom gives us the jitters. I’m not saying, this is the answer to our problems. But it’s time we change, one baby step at a time (pun intended).

I don’t want to list them but I’ll let you think of how we behave with our people (friends and family). Think of all the situations where you’ve felt really truly independent. I bet you can’t. Even if you do think of one such situation, it will hit you with a sense of guilt too.

Also, think of all the situations where you’ve thought maybe if you let loose, one of your kith and kin might get out of your “Control”. This is extended to our workplace as well, whatever the career/industry is. We proudly do that in the guise of responsibility.

Despite having a mass (population), despite having the push (ability), we’re unable to gather momentum / velocity for growth.  Be it in sports, be it in entrepreneurial skills or in design and innovation.

Countless historic events and personalities have all shown us, if we take adversity in our stride with determination and a rock solid attitude, we can rise like a phoenix from the ashes. We all see and smell the ashes. It’s time we all beat our wings together, break away from the shackles of old school thoughts, add to the knowledge and culture and truly rise like a phoenix.

Let’s attempt to breathe independence and freedom in its true form.

The Digital Way of Life

I don’t have a TV at home. You read it right. I don’t have a TV – period.

I stopped watching TV about 10 years ago. When she was not my wife yet, she was an avid viewer.  But then marriage happened and she had to quit watching, simply because I did not own a TV.

Seven years down the line, we are glad and extremely proud of that fact. We really have a lot of time on hand for each other.

We actually end up LISTENING to each other. (While my wife may disagree, coz I keep getting sucked by this virus commonly known as Blackberry).

As parents, we could not take the easy escape route of putting our daughter in front of the TV with some food and go about doing our things. We actually spent time with her. Talking to her and engaging with her at every step. It has yielded amazing results.

However, we’ve ensured she’s not “left out” in conversations while she is with her friends. She does get her daily dose of edutainment and introduction to all famous kid characters either through downloaded material or YouTube®.

This has also helped us develop our hobbies. For example, the habit of reading and that habit is indirectly inculcated in our daughter as well.

Newspapers and internet ensures that we are updated on all the current affairs and events. There is no dearth of information in today’s digital world.

While we may all be mildly addicted to the social media like Facebook and Twitter on our gadgets, I realized it actually helps us interact with people, who we would not have thought of in years.

Meanwhile, we do physically meet all the close friends and relatives and interact outside of Facebook too. And when we meet, there’s no distraction in the form of a TV.

For the kind of lifestyle we have, with more number of hours spent in the office, it helps to have each other’s complete attention when at home.

Well, as for work-life balance, my wife has put down certain basic rules.

This may be radical to some orthodox minds. If I reach home early, I get my cup of coffee served. If I’m late, I’ve got to fix (thankfully not cook) my own dinner. Obviously coffee’s gone – assuming that I’d have had it while sitting in late at work anyway.

Sadly, I’m completely used to the second situation these days.

So, the next time you see me with coffee at work, you know why. J

Although the way of life has changed through centuries, the number of hours in a day has not. In the past few decades, the change in life-style has occurred at a break-neck speed. We better adapt in a way that is best suitable to us.

Let’s try and ensure we all have a LIFE and not just STYLE.

Let’s value Time – Ours and others’ too.