As kids, When we visit someone and the hosts offer us something to eat/drink, we're taught to say "No" even when we don't really mean it. The hosts are supposed to coax us into accepting it. The host's act has different words in different languages. "Aagrah" in marathi or "upachara" in kannada,
THIS is the real root cause of a chronic problem we have today.
The sad part is, if the host does not coax well, they are also termed as rude and hostile.
Traditionally, we don't know to say a Firm "NO" and also accept and understand a "NO".
There are no variations in a NO.
NO usually means NO - simple.
But we are trained to complicate these things. (What's new?)
This behavioral trait unfortunately manifests itself in all situations as we age.
Add to this the numerous jokes that our family makes during all weddings and/or related functions where they dramatize the way bride and groom meet. This obviously is also glorified enough in our films. Regional and mainstream.
Yet again, the bottom-line is - when a girl says no, we hear success stories encouraging one to go ahead and coax her into saying a yes. The supposed pure intent in the attempt is what matters.
OK, let's look at something else.
The other misunderstood concept we have is the 'sense of humor'.
Most don't know the difference between humor, satire and ridicule.
In the name of humor, many wisecracks say stuff that puts a lot of pressure on the ones that it is directed at. This again happens in schools, colleges, hostels and also at workplaces.
Here too, if someone feels offended and says a NO, who's to understand that?
It's time, as responsible citizens, we try and correct this situation for the coming generations.
At least amongst ourselves. It'll solve a lot of issues on hand. I'm sure I don't need to detail them out here.
Let's know a "No" - Say it, mean it and Zip it!
THIS is the real root cause of a chronic problem we have today.
The sad part is, if the host does not coax well, they are also termed as rude and hostile.
Traditionally, we don't know to say a Firm "NO" and also accept and understand a "NO".
There are no variations in a NO.
NO usually means NO - simple.
But we are trained to complicate these things. (What's new?)
This behavioral trait unfortunately manifests itself in all situations as we age.
Add to this the numerous jokes that our family makes during all weddings and/or related functions where they dramatize the way bride and groom meet. This obviously is also glorified enough in our films. Regional and mainstream.
Yet again, the bottom-line is - when a girl says no, we hear success stories encouraging one to go ahead and coax her into saying a yes. The supposed pure intent in the attempt is what matters.
OK, let's look at something else.
The other misunderstood concept we have is the 'sense of humor'.
Most don't know the difference between humor, satire and ridicule.
In the name of humor, many wisecracks say stuff that puts a lot of pressure on the ones that it is directed at. This again happens in schools, colleges, hostels and also at workplaces.
Here too, if someone feels offended and says a NO, who's to understand that?
It's time, as responsible citizens, we try and correct this situation for the coming generations.
At least amongst ourselves. It'll solve a lot of issues on hand. I'm sure I don't need to detail them out here.
Let's know a "No" - Say it, mean it and Zip it!
I like this... We honestly as a specis in India are never trained to say No... we love Jugad, Mandavli & Setting, which like then becomes our way of life... People who say NO are even considered Rude... I hope it changes
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