Life @ 33% Discount

As a kid, I always used to fancy eating cookies and “ham”burgers without knowing its ingredients.
Thanks to my comic reading addiction, the craving got stronger with each book. Then I realized that the craving was not because I was reading comics all the time. But because it was not available at that time – let alone easily.

Then I noticed a correlation. During exams, I would be refrained from watching TV and would be asked to concentrate on my syllabus for the upcoming exam. The more the refrain, the more I would feel like rebelling and watching TV while as such I never gave a damn.

Then when I started to work, in various companies, I noticed a difference in culture.
Some would provide coffee and tea to employees but only twice a day or some would let the employees pay. A few would have vending machines for people to have “as much” tea/coffee as possible free of cost. That was the first time I heard this debate that the ease of access will increase the demand in the initial stages while in the long run, it will actually bring it down. And that was indeed the case.

In the pretext of enjoying the privilege of a free tea/coffee, I did not realize two things. I got sucked into work so much that I did not measure the time spent at work. I also never bothered the amount of tax that I was actually paying. I’m not careless to ignore the direct taxes. It’s the indirect taxes that I never paid attention to, let alone understand it. Come to think of it, I still don’t.

Recently, I read a survey that says vis-à-vis the standard 33% direct tax; we actually end up paying more than 55% of our income as taxes in various forms and shapes.
If we apply the coffee vending machine logic, the very first time someone found out loopholes in our taxation structure and evaded tax, instead of making it any complex, had they simplified it, we would have ended up paying 55% direct taxes. At least we would not have felt cheated with a fake 33%.
Must say, this 33% is an elusive number.

Another interesting correlation is that we are supposed to sleep for 8 hours of a day. We are supposed to work for 8-9 hours. Technically we have the remaining 7-8 (33%) hours to enjoy LIFE.
Do we?

We spend more number of hours in the office for this elusive 33% of LIFE. Eventually, it boils down to 10 days of vacation with effortless interruptions by mails on our smartphone and intermittent calls.
10 days out of 365 days is a mere 2.7%.
Some smarty pants have declared the 52 weekends (28%) as a part of our holiday or enjoying LIFE.
We still don’t have the 33% life for which we literally slog our butts off.
So what are we running for?



Maybe to sit on a comfortable chair and tap such silly thoughts on a fancy laptop… Hmmm!

Words

Words are not mere words
They're wings of the fantasy birds
Weighing emotions, shaken or stirred
Of a simpleton, poet, geek or a nerd

Sometimes clear, sometimes blurred
They emote the tears well captured
A story that can't be ignored
Or a song that pulls you toward

A glaring jab, that can't be unheard
Or a taunt hurled towards the undeterred
Words are not just words
They can be sharper than the swords

Healing relations that are soured
After attempts first, second or third
The power to have faith restored
To inspire, woo or to be floored

An imagination yet to be explored
For all the situations on board
Initial ideas on the drawing board
Idioms and phrases that can be adored

Words are not just mere words
They are wings of the fantasy birds
Cutting through the shackles and the girds
After all, they are sharper than the swords

Ego – Ew! Go...

There’s a lesson in everything
As a student, if you are carefully observing
There’s a hidden message in gravity
In success, urging one to stay grounded and display humility

Great icons have demonstrated through their way of life
It is one’s thoughts and actions that rise above the strife
Wise men hardly bothered the way they were clad
They emphasized to stretch a helping hand and make someone glad

Expectations binges one’s self-esteem into obesity
Thrusts actions that can jeopardize one’s dignity
There may be a reason it is called ‘ego’
I can hear myself cry “Ew!” “GO’

Gratitude, in itself, is an attitude
Be unique and establish your own latitude
There’s a lesson in everything you see
There’s so much to learn without a fee

Let's "Know" the "No"

As kids, When we visit someone and the hosts offer us something to eat/drink, we're taught to say "No" even when we don't really mean it. The hosts are supposed to coax us into accepting it. The host's act has different words in different languages. "Aagrah" in marathi or "upachara" in kannada,
THIS is the real root cause of a chronic problem we have today.
The sad part is, if the host does not coax well, they are also termed as rude and hostile.

Traditionally, we don't know to say a Firm "NO" and also accept and understand a "NO".
There are no variations in a NO.
NO usually means NO - simple.
But we are trained to complicate these things. (What's new?)

This behavioral trait unfortunately manifests itself in all situations as we age.

Add to this the numerous jokes that our family makes during all weddings and/or related functions where they dramatize the way bride and groom meet. This obviously is also glorified enough in our films. Regional and mainstream.

Yet again, the bottom-line is - when a girl says no, we hear success stories encouraging one to go ahead and coax her into saying a yes. The supposed pure intent in the attempt is what matters.

OK, let's look at something else.
The other misunderstood concept we have is the 'sense of humor'.
Most don't know the difference between humor, satire and ridicule.
In the name of humor, many wisecracks say stuff that puts a lot of pressure on the ones that it is directed at. This again happens in schools, colleges, hostels and also at workplaces.

Here too, if someone feels offended and says a NO, who's to understand that?

It's time, as responsible citizens, we try and correct this situation for the coming generations.
At least amongst ourselves. It'll solve a lot of issues on hand. I'm sure I don't need to detail them out here.

Let's know a "No" - Say it, mean it and Zip it!

The Party - A Sriks' Short Fiction

As I was getting ready to log off, I saw a red dot on my blackberry screen that announced the arrival of a mail in my mailbox. The blinking red dot has an almost hypnotic effect. You just cannot ignore it, no matter how hard you try to. So I gave up and opened it.

 “Dear Friend,

It’s a pleasure to announce that one of my works has been acknowledged by the Creative Academy as the Best in its category. I take this opportunity to thank you all for your support and encouragement directly or indirectly. These days “Sharing” & “Liking” on Facebook is quite a support that has given quite a few some commercial successes.

In addition to the Thanks, I would also like to throw a party on the forthcoming Saturday for all my well-wishers.

Venue: The Famous Town Park

Time: 05:00 am

Dress Code: Casuals with sports shoes.

Kindly RSVP

Yours truly

Humble achiever”

I checked the keyboard layout on my laptop and also on my blackberry to see if the alphabets “a” and “p” were close enough to miss. They were poles apart on both the devices.

I rubbed my eyes and checked the time again. It indeed read 05:00 am…. and not 05:00 pm.

I was curious to know what kind of a party is held in the morning. I called my friend to confirm. My various attempts to reach her failed. Her phone was either not reachable or was beyond coverage area.

On the said day and time, I hesitantly made it to the venue expecting to be mocked at. But there were signboards giving directions to the party place and a grand banner with something that looked like the Party Theme. 

As I crossed each signboard, I heard the heavy bass from the outdoor speakers. As I went close, the music was clearer. It was not the regular trance or dance numbers I’d heard in the evening parties. The music was foot tapping nevertheless.

So, there was a DJ.

Most of the guests were dressed in athletic attire. Some like me, who do not possess an athletic body, were in loose T-Shirts and track pants, promptly showing off the sports shoes.

I noticed a bar-counter at the other end of the earmarked area. Without my knowledge, my legs started to measure the ground towards the bar. Quite a few guests were queuing up for the drinks. I noticed, there were no refrigerators or coolers, only blenders and a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables. This bar served fresh juices and mock-tails blended with a variety of herbs.

There were well-dressed waiters walking around serving “starters” to guests. As I picked up a plate, it was a well-decorated salad.

My eyes were looking for the host. She was happily talking to some of her other guests while her family was busy organizing activities. Like in any regular party, the crowd was split in smaller groups, but here they were either running or walking as they interacted instead of picking a corner for a formal discussion.

I saw a few of them sitting together and doing some basic yoga-äsanas. Some elderly people were engaged in laughter therapy, while the kids were busy running around getting their dose of morning exercise.

Then, as the music changed and as if that was a cue, all the guests gathered and broke into an aerobic jig that looked almost like a well-choreographed dance number.

I was absolutely stunned at what I was witnessing. What a healthy way to celebrate.

I had so many questions racing in my mind.

Why are all parties hosted in the evenings or nights? Why do all the parties serve drinks and foods that are actually detrimental to health? Why do we invite each other over a coffee OR lunch OR dinner and indulge in gluttony?

I was overwhelmed with what I was experiencing.

Will I see more of these in the future? Or even better, will I host my parties around similar themes? Is this a business opportunity in itself?

I finally managed to get hold of the host friend and inquired about her achievements.

She had written a book on “Alternate ways to celebrate a Healthy Life”. That book and the concepts had won her accolades in the literary as well as health conscious circles.

Before I could ask her, she mentioned that this theme party was one of her innovative concepts, coined as “Life of Healthy Interactions”.

That’s when I understood the inviting banner at the entrance that read:

Get high with the ‘Life of Hi’

Be Unique! Be Yourself

The nerves tight, thoughts racing through, my mind was running full throttle.
The pressure was more than what was intended in the launch pad.
All of a sudden, without the customary countdown, ignition and in the blink of an eye, I was weightless.

Then as the fog cleared, I was flying over the scenic countryside.
The few moments of solitude came to an abrupt end.
I was staring at a queue.

I could see the sun rise from between the two hills.
I could clearly hear the water flowing in the river nearby. I heard the cattle by the well.
But I could not see the "Dream" House by ther river. The house with a door, a window and a chimney. Although I could see the smoke emitting out of it.
I realized, this dream was too overcrowded.

I changed the course and went in a different direction.
En-route, I saw a big crowd looking for something. Later, realized they were all searching for their "Dream-girl"
I thanked myself to be out of that phase of life.

As I wandered further in search of some peace and tranquillity, the crowd got thicker.

It started to sink in. My dreams are not unique anymore.
There are hordes of people dreaming the same thing.

Meanwhile, I could hear a cry from some corner. I changed the coordinates and set off in the direction of the noise.
As I got nearer, the noise got louder and I realized it's not singular.
I thought, maybe the world is in Danger. Aha, time to turn a hero.
Felt a wave of new energy within. I almost tore off my shirt expecting the cape to start flying (if not me).

But I felt a big punch on my face. I was standing in front of this crazy huge guy.
He asked, "Passport and visa please." Until then, I did not realize I was carrying it with me.
Then in a robotic tone, he asked, "What's the purpose of your visit Sir?"
I said, "Hey. You are mistaken. I'm not here to visit your country. I want to save the world"

He punched once again and said in a 'matter of fact' tone.
"You can only dream of coming here to the land of opportunities.
Only after you go through the grind and become a citizen, can you be authorized. It's the 'right to dream' of our citizens to save the world. Not yours"

In the background, the fuel indicator started to sound out the warning alarm. Maybe, it was time to return.

Then I woke up, dismissed the alarm. Got about my morning duties.
And within minutes, I was off to another grinding day at work.

Trying to save my job.

The Plight of Customer Delight!

The doorman opened the door with a smile doing the customary "namaste" albeit fake. As I stepped inside, a lady dressed in an elegant sari enquired about my well-being. After directing me towards the section where I would be "looked after", she went on to attend another customer. The minute I entered "the section", I was offered a drink. I felt like a prince alright.
Five minutes and three attendants later, I was seated in front of the executive who would attend to a "complaint" about my phone bill.
I'd stepped into a network provider's showroom and not a fancy Hotel.
Mind you, this is after obvious attempts at getting a resolution through their 1800 number call-centre.

We, the "customers" are to be blamed for this appalling situation.
Today, this provider is literally wasting money at creating services to supposedly delight us at activities that is not it's core.
Invariably, for these very delightful services, they will charge us in all direct/indirect ways.
The whole theory of "customer delight being the new customer expectation" is a marketing farce that should STOP and almost immediately.

I want a phone that functions well in all possible areas of the city.
I don't want a low/weak network patches during my commute where the call will most certainly drop.
In the mornings, when we go to a milk-booth or the street-side newspaper vendor, do we expect any sort of frills?
Then why do we fall prey for such gimmicks elsewhere?

What is the need for customer service? Why spend on infrastructure for a call centre?
Why can the companies not focus on giving us a product that does not ask for any customer service?
The same or less money can be "invested" in research and development instead of marketing and service.

I'm not against customer service centres or call centres. They are necessary in some sectors. But they should be limited to those sectors alone.

Remember the old bike ad from the 90s? Fill it; Shut it; Forget it!
I currently dream of a confident product where they say, "Come, Look, Buy and simply refer us to your friends". I'm sure, they don't want us to "Forget" them. :)